Tuesday, February 22, 2011

This is just a barrel of fun.

Nothin' better than forcing three guys to have to stick with each other due to similar circumstances, even though they've never really talked that much before. Y'know what's the best part about this? Robbie being his usual robot-self. Guy isn't drooling anymore, just sorta...empty, I guess. It's so much fun feeding him, leading him around, having to make sure he uses the bathroom properly and takes a bath so that he doesn't smell so bad he makes heads turn.

By the way, your turn next, Reach. I'm not doing that again for a couple days, maybe even a couple weeks at least.

See, this is why we need a female in our company. Too many dicks and the group is unbalanced, driving us to try and be manlier than the other and attempt to save face. Well, at least for McWhineyPants and I. Oh yeah, it's been a real adventure, filled with laughter and friendship.

We better get Ava back soon from Stoplight and his fashionable hand wraps, or I think I may just throw myself off the nearest cliff and save it the trouble. I'm not cut out for baby sitting. At all. Or socializing for that matter. Wish I could do something with Cathy right now but, oh wait, apparently she's going bisexual on me. Does this mean we at least can have some kind of a threesome, my love?

Hehe, I'm about ready to snap and blow up at a random bystander. It's great. Maybe we should try talking this out more, Reachy boy, so I don't have to vent on my blog like some teenage girl. It makes me feel insecure about my masculinity~!

Well, at least we've been able to sorta walk in public. We can more or less get by with saying the two are my kid and traumatized best friend. It makes people back off when you tell them Robbie saw his entire family murdered before his eyes and then he was kidnapped for years and beaten everyday. Which, y'know, might not be that far off from the truth, but hey, gets us food at a cheaper price most of the time.

We're still moving. Not really standing still ever, which is a smart idea. I know Reddy pulled the minions back, but my daughter is in charge now or some shit apparently, which probably doesn't bode well.

Dunno if the others...Reach has noticed, but I've been seeing it out of the corner of my eye. Not all the time, just occasionally. It's been methodically placing itself in positions to where if I turn to look, it's gone. I'm sure it's a way to psychologically break victims, but right now I'm just paranoid that we're gonna have to fight it. Cause' if we do, we're sure as hell gonna lose. Hopefully it'll hang back and keep stalking us from afar.

Fuck I'm tired. Whatever.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

It went wrong. It all went wrong. Reach is hurt so bad he can't move, Robert is drugged up to his eyes and drooling, and Ava...shit.

We went in. There were some Revenants or whatever the hell you kids call them waiting for us near the front. They were no problem, though they did seem to know Reach. That should've tipped us off right off the bat, what with them having superpowers or some shit like that. Ava was yelling at us to find Robert so we took the stairs up as fast as we could and started looking around. I'm sure we were making a hell of a lot of noise, but no one really came after us after the Revenant face off. Again, that should have alerted us to things not being right.

We found Robbie tied up in a chair. It's not like he was in any state to go anywhere, so I'm guessing it was more for holding him up so he wouldn't fall over. I untied him and picked him up princess style and we were basically sprinting for the exit by this point.

Redlight found us.

He grabbed Ava.

She had a gun. Why the hell didn't she shoot him?! She hesitated when he grabbed her and tried to drag her away from us. With my arms full I couldn't stop him and so Reach ran after him instead. And that's all it took. All it fuckin' took for her to suddenly collapse and not move.

Redlight...he played us bad. Everything was a set up to get her, I think. She's not dead, I think she was unconscious. Reach must have overestimated his abilities again because the man was just...beating the snot out of him. I had to put Robbie down- away from sight behind some shit- and separate it. Got clocked in the jaw and stomach for my troubles, but managed to nail him back in the face hard enough to drive him off. Didn't hurt the bitch just got him off balance long enough for me to grab Reach by his collar and pull him away.

I had to leave her.

I could have grabbed her. I had the chance. Like I had the chance with Cynthia. She was right there, just laying on the floor like she was asleep.

But I couldn't. I know she would've been pissed if I had tried to get her out and endangered the others in the process. Endangered myself. Fuck me, I'm not worth shit. The things I've done...I should be dead. Funny how I was the one who got out of there in the best shape. God, I'm the adult and these kids keep showing me up, hehe...

I threw Reach over a shoulder and Robert over the other- started having flashbacks to the hotel. Got out by running through a back door. Ran like the hounds of hell were at my feet, which I guess they were cause' all of a sudden more minions crawled out of the woodwork. Guess they chased us for a while. Had to finally stop and put them down.

I've been playing doctor. Robert...either the drugs haven't worn off or something was done to his head because he can't do anything on his own yet. Reach is...well, I patched him up, but I think you all know how it is right now.

Fuck. First my daughter, then my friend.

This is why I don't stick with people. This is why I work alone.

Dammit Ava.

We're gonna get you back. You and Cynthia. We'll come for you, I promise.

Saturday, February 19, 2011


Tomorrow's the big day, I guess. The three of us are storming the castle and fighting off all the bad guys all for the sake of getting the princess back. Hehe, it should be fun.

In other news, shit is probably gonna go very, very wrong. How do I know, you ask? I woke up this morning not next to Reach but instead near the treeline, which was a good bit of distance away. I'm guessing Ava fell asleep because she tried to take the whole watch herself. You see woman, this is why we take turns making ourselves stay awake. I'm fine, in fact I was pretty comfortable and it's a pity I had to move- the tree was doing so well at blocking the sunlight.

Also our resident couple have made me feel like an awkward third wheel so I took it upon myself to make them feel awkward as well. After the kissing and hugging and puppy dog eyes at each other grew sickening, I simply decided to turn and stare at them whenever they tried this. No blinking. No talking. Just staring. And grinning. Yeah, Ava caved first every time. Hehe, this why you need to contain yourselves, kids. Uncle Tony does not want to have to hear you two whisper sweet nothings to each other and let your hormones take control. Christ, I need to get laid.

Anyway, I guess that's it. Updating because something may happen tomorrow. If I don't write again in around three days, you can go ahead and assume something went very wrong. 

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


Yesterday was the most interesting evening I've had in a while. Wouldn't you agree, Ava and Reach? Apparently it's my job to explain what the hell happened which makes no sense seeing as my arms are throbbing, but hey, why not.

So let's see here, where do I begin? Uh, basically ran/hitch hiked as fast as I could to the terrible twosome as soon as I heard the news. Of course, I'm almost there and I get wind of this deal that Cathy and I had to make or some shit. It was a no brainer, really. Cathy said it best so if you wanna know what we think go look at her blog. Anyway, after I agreed I arrived at the hotel.

Bad feeling as soon as I stepped in. Everyone in the fucking vicinity turned and stared- kept talking and doing what they were doing, but eyeballed me. I would've felt flattered if I wasn't running like a crazy man to the stairs. (Number one rule of hotels: never take the elevator. Too easy to get stuck on and get caught/killed.) No one tried to stop me, which was a plus, I guess. But after finally reaching the hotel room (and feelin' the burn, hehe) that's when shit went down.

Ava answers the door- it was such a pleasant intro, you crazy bitch- and it fuckin' appears behind me according to my dear friends. Y'know the feeling of something bad being near and the hair on the back of your neck just rises? Yeah, that's what I felt. I pretty much pushed Ava back inside  in time for a fire to start. And of all places it began in the bathroom. That's really when I spotted Cynthia.

Jesus my daughter looks like a wreck. Her hair needs to be cut, she looks unhealthily skinny, and the bags under her eyes tell me that she hasn't been sleeping in a long time. I wanted to grab her. I wanted to get her away from the monster that was in the corner of the room now, standing right next to her. But we made a deal and I know what happens to people who disobey- too much experience to make me think differently.

The fire, seeing as it wasn't exactly created by normal causes, was getting bigger and bigger every second and by a minute it really was starting to envelope the room. That was when I really regretted pushing Ava.

She, uh, knocked her head against the side of the bed when she fell back. Pretty much unconscious and Reach looked like he was about to have a heart attack. Everything was going wrong, basically. And Cynthia was just laughing. That thing stepped towards us and that made me snap outta it. Grabbed Ava and slung her over my shoulder and yelled at Reach to run. Kid runs fast.

Actually he ran too fast. Overestimated his abilities due to the, uh, change. We're sprinting down the stairs and the alarms are blaring, smoke is pouring everywhere. Some people are panicking and pushing us trying to get out. Others are actually trying to grab us and trip us down the stairs. Somewhere along the line Reach wore himself out because he pushed his legs too hard. Collapsed at the bottom of the stairwell and almost got trampled in the chaos.

Fucking picked him up and slung him over my other shoulder- remind me to never to that again. I haven't done heavy lifting...ever.

We cleared the vicinity pretty fast (more like I did) and set up base elsewhere. Not saying where. My arms are really sore, Ava's got a head wound and Reach is worn down. Not in the best of shape, but we're alive, so can't complain.

Don't have time to talk right now. We're gonna move soon.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Alrighty, lemme just get something out in the open here because apparently everyone might have an opinion on all of this. Married couples aren't exactly common in this group of hunted humans, so I get that Cathy and I are an odd pair. I also get that you guys care and want to make sure we aren't going to do something that would stop us from getting Cynthia back. Hell, even redlight was anxious to see to it that we didn't act like idiots, which is kind of him.
What Cathy and I are going through is what happens when two people don't love each other and then some faceless monster decides to fuck with us. Hehe, it's a little extra baggage, but about the same as any other couple. We're gonna fight, we're gonna bicker, we're gonna call each other bad names and insult our ancestors because to be honest, we're not exactly happy with each other right now. We both had bad reactions to what occurred in the woods the other day. I took Cathy but not Cynthia even though I clearly had the opportunity, and she ran because I wasn't the nicest guy to her when she woke up. They aren't justifiable actions, but it's what happened.
That said, we aren't going to let our problems get in the way of getting our daughter back from it. If you think I'd let my frustration stop me from working together with my wife (who, by the way, has been risking everything to get her back as well), then you obviously do not know me that well.
I know I'm hiding basically all of who I am from you guys (sorry if that's a surprise, hehe) but I think I've made it obvious because of Ava that if I care for someone my problems don't get in the way. And I know it's the same for Cathy, because even if she claims we don't love each other anymore we still know what the other is like...or was like, which is enough.
Basically, what I'm trying to say, is that this is our problem- the marriage thing I mean- and we'll deal with it in our own way. And I would be gosh-darned grateful if everyone could just accept the fact that we're not a happy couple but realize we're still gonna get shit done.  That's my daughter that thing has and hell if I'm gonna let her stay in it's clutches for much longer.

Now with that stupid rant out of the way:
I've been blacking out again. Ever since I got Cathy out of the woods, I wake up in some place I didn't fall asleep at. I don't think she ever noticed, but that was mostly because it was little things, like opening my eyes and realizing I was outside my door. But after she left...well, let's just say I woke up in a different state. Hehe, that and my nose was bleeding when I regained consciousness too.
Maaaan, haven't had to deal with this shit in a while. Gonna take some getting used to again, but it should be like riding a bicycle.
Think that's about it. Just kinda wanna steer this blog back in the direction it was made for: keeping tabs on what's happening to me, hehe.

You all keeping yourselves safe? I'm looking at you Ava, and your date with ~*destiny*~.

Saturday, February 12, 2011


WOMAN, could you not have hit me maybe a little less harshly? It's pounding like I have the worst hangover in the world and I think you actually managed to make me bleed.

Goddamn- woke up and you're gone. Great. Perfect. Used the shower and got outta there before room service came along and thought I was robbing the motel or something.

I said we needed to stick together! What part of that didn't you understand? Oh, and nice post by the way. Y'know there was probably a reason I was keeping this sort-of-marriage a secret. And you just tell it to the world! Nice thinking there- I'm glad I married such a smart woman.

Fuck I need a beer. Or some pain meds to overdose on. Something.

Monday, February 7, 2011


I'm here. Fuck I need to lay down and get some sleep. Just for an hour or two, that'd be nice. Ribs aren't very happy with me- got in a scuffle with scar face and we both took some bad hits. Hopefully I'll be up for more ass kicking tomorrow. Hehe, wish me luck, kids.

Edit- I put this on your blog, but decided to post it here instead to make sure you see it.

Hey Crazy Bitch, if anything happens to me these next couple days, I want you to promise not to panic and take care of everyone. Apparently I'm the grumpy Uncle and you're the big sis, so we gotta do our jobs, right?

Hehe, catch you on the flip side, Avalesca.

Saturday, February 5, 2011


Really? Am I always one step behind or some shit? Gonna have to find another trucker now who's willing to drive cross country with me. Maybe this one won't like irritable middle aged men who look like hobos and carry various weapons on their person that they can't use on the goddamn truckers because that would mean trouble.

Ava's back. Don't really know what to say at this point. It's already been said. She's coming over to The Land of the Free and The Home of the Brave. Hehe, should be fun for her.

Saw it the other day. Hanging around near the eighteen wheeler I was hitching a ride in. Had to split if I didn't want the weirdo to get taken by it. Sucks, but I'll find someone else. Things have calmed down a little bit, it seems. That's nice, I don't particularly like having to remember five thousand stories going on at once. Y'know, when I started this stupid blog I wasn't planning on talking to this many people. Hell, I dunno why so many of you seem keen on keeping up with me- I'm not exactly best friend material if you hadn't noticed, and that's not ever changing. I hate this...caring for other people business. It's what gets people killed in the first place.

Fuck, I'll end this feelings and shit post before I start to sound like a teenage girl who got dumped right before prom night.

I guess...keep yourselves outta trouble. Whatever.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

What the hell

Is the crazy flu going around or something? Everyone just needs to calm the fuck down because too many things are happening right now and I can't tell who's safe and who's in trouble. Fucking- how many kids are okay?

Lemme say it this way: I'm taking a role call, if you're good say so. Or don't. And then I can assume that everyone on the goddamn planet died tonight except for me.

And everyone needs to stop freaking out because you're just giving it more power! We've been over this several times! Shit, why does this gotta happen now?

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Hitch Hiking

It's always fun, right? Least I don't have to worry about some hairy fat guy hitting on me, hehe.

Makin' good time. Everything is fine right now. In fact, haven't seen a minion since I left my old spot. Good sign or bad sign? Probably bad but, eh, oh well.

I'm sure everyone is having a shit ton of fun right now, anyone care to share?

Updating to show I'm alive. Hooray and all that.