Thursday, October 13, 2011


How the fuck have you kiddies been?

My entire body has been in pain for the last...I dunno, week or two that I can remember. I have no idea what happened after the stand off in the field, I just know I woke up in some warehouse somewhere. I had no idea where the fuck I was and Cathy was laying next to me unconscious.

The problem is...Cathy wasn't herself. When she woke up she was acting strange and I got pretty paranoid pretty fast. You can't trust her cause', well, it showed up and she went with it willingly. Started smiling and laughing like it was the best thing in the world. I got the hell out of there before it turned its attention towards me, tried to drag Cathy along with me but she socked me in the face with the one arm she has left. Yeah, her other arm is definitely cut off at the elbow but it looks like it was burnt to prevent it from bleeding out. Not sure who did that, but it looked almost like, well, these really long fingers like it had grabbed her.

Anyway she has a mean right hook and started shouting at me. She didn't make any sense and it was coming closer. I...had to leave her. As soon as I figured out where the hell I was- fucking California of all places- I had to hitch hike my way across the country with basically no money and all my shit missing except for the clothes on me.

Eventually I got to Georgia. Just hoofed it once I was close enough and of course it started fucking raining while I was walking for hours. Got some strange looks in the process, but I like to think it's cause' of my amazingly good looks. I honestly just wandered around until I remembered where Simon's house was.

Hehe, tell you what though, the look on his face when he opened the door to me standing drenched in the rain looking like shit, hungry, smelly and pissed, was priceless. I think he about peed himself which would have been perfect. But before he could really say anything Cynthia came out of fucking no where and kicked me in the shin. Yeah, nice daughter. Started yelling at me and saying that she wasn't gonna go back and shit like that. I guess she thought I had been taken by it and was a minion again. I mean, jeez, gimme a little bit of credit, I survived over ten years and got away from that thing before, I'm stronger than I look.

Anyway, when she came close I just pulled her into a hug. I mean, shit, she's my daughter, related or not. I was supposed to give her the ideal life- y'know, take her wherever she wants, talk to any potential boyfriends and scare them off, and tuck her in at night. But I couldn't and she suffered because of me. I know she did. The second it clicked in her head that I wasn't trying to hurt her she started crying and snotting all over the place. Hugged me back and said a bunch of stuff that got muffled by my jacket.

But I got the gist of it. I missed her too and I was glad that she was alright too.

She got me inside and Simon still looked like he wanted to shoot me or report me or something- which I don't blame him for, I'd be pretty fucking suspicious too- but Cynthia, heh, started ordering him around like he was the child and she was the adult. Got me a shower, some clean clothes and food before the two of them started drowning me in all their questions. Where had I been? What happened? How did I survive? Where was Cathy?

...I had to break that to her. It hurt her, I can tell. Hurt me too. She's thinking this is all her fault when it's really not. Fuck, I dunno, I tried making her feel better but I'm no mommy and I haven't actually taken care of kids before. Even Simon seems to be better at this than me, which makes sense cause' he's a little bitch, but's my kid, y'know? We're gonna try figuring out how to get Cathy back but hell, Cathy and I couldn't even do it before when Cynthia got's hard to get your hopes up after so long of them being shot down.

Fuck anyway, I've been resting up. Apparently wherever I was this past...almost two months I didn't exactly eat or sleep well and took a beating. I got new bruises and scars and some nice burns to add to my collection of fucked up body parts. I bet I look like Prince fucking Charming, hehe.

What the hell has happened while I've been gone?