I'll just copy paste my comment, yeah?
Sharing is caring, huh? Well, this is for Ava so we can try and get Reach back faster. Don't know if this is what you're looking for, and unfortunately I can't give you much due to not remembering anything before marrying Cathy...but, I do remember those years running. And now would be as good a time as any to unload some shit.
I don't like you people, or, at least, most of you. But nevertheless...
I ran from that thing for maybe...four years, give or take. The other six? Seven? I lost track of the time to be honest, was spent working for that thing. What I did- hehe, I tortured people. It wasn't like it is now. You didn't give the victim a chance, leave them secret messages and watch them from afar. The best part was savoring having them in your grasp and seeing the fear in their eyes as they silently plead for you to just let them go.
"You're human too, why won't you help me?"
"Why, why are you doing this to me?"
And sometimes it wouldn't be quick. It would be slow, starting with the fingers and moving on to the intestines. They would be alive through it, writhing in pain and silently wishing for it all to be over.
And when they finally broke, blood pooling into my hands, I would hand them over to it. This thing would take them and break them mentally, play over worst fears and give them rays of hope only to crush them. Over and over they would be twisted and broken. It was fun to me back then, I laughed as I pulled nails out and broke ribs one by one.
And I still don't think it was wrong. I still am confused as to why it's wrong to have hurt them.
Hehe, you wanna know my secret? The monster /changed/ me. I lack the necessary emotions to function as a normal person. I am a sociopath. I am crazy. Something happened to my brain ...that thing did something to my head. And now I'm no better than all the other minions. Maybe even worse as most of them don't have any class, they just act on basic emotion and let it control everything they do. They weren't around for the good old days...good- did I say good? I mean the bad days. Actually no, I don't know if it was good or bad, it was just years in my life.
So there it is. Wouldn't say it before because I learned to lie and make the victims trust me. I don't work for it anymore but...people might find it a tiny bit more difficult to trust me now, hehe.
So there you have it. One of the things I do remember about myself that my parents didn't tell me.